Sometimes things just happen, people. Calm down. I don't know how many times in a day a bird defecates on a windshield, and I get all this, 'Is this a sign? What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to me?' Well I’ll tell you why it happened to you. A bird ate too much and relived himself in the sky, which was what your car was parked underneath. Every other flying creature does it -- even planes do it -- and you’d do it too if I gave you wings. I'm not just up here moving chess pieces around, trying to make your life miserable for my own amusement. Not all the time, at least. Can't things happen on accident, anymore? Does everything have to be connected to some spiritual/universal plan? Some things are without meaning or purpose. Sure, this comes easy with reality TV, but a little poo on your Honda and some how I'm responsible. I have other things to do. I don't have time to set up every little thing that happens down there.
Now when a bird poops on your shoulder, that's all me.
2 comments:
Ok mister smarty pants, what if the poop looks like the virgin Mary? Wouldn't that be a sign? Or if you got 6 different poops on 6 different car parts on 6 different days? I'd call that would be a really big sign!
"That which passes into the bird and that which leaves the bird, verily all that passes through the bird shall be rendered unto them and they shall see it not. For their sinfulness has closed their eyes and they know not the wisdom of the poo that is given them."
From chapter 2, verse 34, of Paul's letter to Timothy's friend Bruce who lived next door to somebody from Corinth.
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